were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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