3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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