six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
