you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
