i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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