I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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