Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Who died my cat blue again?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
