oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
