I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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