put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
babies were throwing up all over the place
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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