Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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