I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
