i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
