I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
