their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
