Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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