Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
