honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
