i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
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