Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
