i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
