I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
