i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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