I wish I could teleport
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
