thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
