Kiss
Puke
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
