This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i think my mom watched the whole time
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
