you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
