I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
