Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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