so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
