He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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