no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I know her cup size but not her name....
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