How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
