I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I will die if light touches me.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
