I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
