alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
