I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
