She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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