Already got asked if we're dating
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He better not be in your backpack
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize