i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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