Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(423): View more from Tennessee

2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place

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(312): View more from Illinois

she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?

(1-312): View more from Illinois

not while she was awake

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(757): View more from Virginia

i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work

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(630): View more from Illinois

She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.

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(205): View more from Alabama

Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.

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(407): View more from Florida

There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.

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(214): View more from Texas

Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life

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(631): View more from New York

So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone

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(813): View more from Florida

It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?

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