we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
