i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
