so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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