I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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