when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
