I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
