Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize