Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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