Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
