Just took my morning after pill in the library
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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