I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
