why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize