Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
