this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
cat food counts as protein by the way
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
