I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
