Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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