He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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