I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize