I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
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