i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
