He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
