Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
why do cheetos always look like penises
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
