Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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