So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
