are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
