his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
