Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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