She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
