Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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