You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
