we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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