A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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